When I went back to work at 6 weeks postpartum, my milk supply began to dwindle. I had a stash at home but quickly worked through this and began to panic. I could only pump maybe an ounce from each breast at work and I only got to pump twice a shift. I would go up to 4 hours sometimes. I didn't know then, but I know now, that that was a huge cause of my supply issue. Breastmilk doesn't regulate by 6 weeks postpartum! A friend of mine recommended looking into a donor. I used Facebook to connect with people who had milk to offer. I was skeptical but had to go with my instinct.

The women who donated to me were a blessing. One woman even drove me an emergency 100 ounces one evening when I realized my baby wasn't latching and I had run out of bags in my freezer. I wish I still had her number so I could tell her all about how my second journey is going and how she inspired me. Thanks to the woman who saved me so many times, I was able to avoid formula (and the tummy troubles it gave my baby). My first baby is now 5 and she knows she was breastfed exclusively by me for a couple of months and then we got support from other women to get us to 6 months. She is actually a cheerleader for me on this journey. Whenever her brother cries, she quickly tells me to, "Give him the boob!" It's funny to me that part of my support system is a human I created and breastfed.

I felt so touched by the women who helped me with my first that I am so blessed to be able to help others. It has come full circle and I feel that I am finally able to give back. Those looking into milksharing, especially those who are receiving it, do not feel anything less than pride. You are doing what is best for your baby. You did not fail. I thought I failed my daughter for so long but I realized that some things just can't be changed. I had postpartum depression and anxiety that was made worse by my lack of production. I stopped trying to breastfeed altogether and this improved my mental health. Sometimes, you have to know when to quit. If the journey is making you miserable, you should stop. It shouldn't make you miserable. You'll be tired and you'll smell pretty awful some days but you shouldn't let the journey come between you and your mental health because then you are no longer doing what's best for your baby. Some things are simply out of our hands. That's why donors are important and without the women who need the donors, the circle would be incomplete. Thank you to those who need milk and thank you to all those who have given milk. Every drop counts.